35 - Tende- Nest - Friday, 28 February 2003

No. 35 
Tende- Nest 
Friday, 28 February 2003 

Dear Amare-Amuri, 

13. "A bird will always return to its nest." 

    - Explanation: This proverb signifies the idea of returning to one's roots or origins. It reflects the natural tendency to seek out familiar and comforting places. It also suggests that no matter where one goes, there is always a pull towards one's home or origins. This can be related to personal values and cultural identity.  

I am a Sira. I am a Nyangaga. I am Nyangweso. I am Dhuluo. But most of all I am my grandfather’s granddaughter. I love the country of my biological grandfather dearly and I am happy to be related to my grandfather because he was a wise and caring individual that loved his family. Of course he had his shortcomings, but he cared for his wives and family members with dignity, love, care, and pride. He never let anyone interfere with the unity of his family and the clan. I admire him for that. Now his fourth born son, my biological father Oanez, is the head of the Sira clan and he is leading the clan into a great legacy.  

His first action upon taking the headship of the clam was to abolish the children of his myriad of siblings taking the first names of their fathers as their last names. He instead enforced the rule that everyone had to have the same last name. His sisters had to follow this rule when they married their husbands as well. It was a wise choice! I do not know if my family agrees with this decision. But I love it!  

It emphasizes the importance of maintaining connections with one's background and heritage. 

My father Oanez maintains connections with his heritage and background by still speaking two of his native languages (Dhuluo and Swahili) and communicating daily in a third (Swahili) whilst understanding two more (Gikuyu and Kamba). I understand Kiswahili but I do not speak it. At all. I won’t blame anyone. But I just do not speak it. I will leave it at that.  

My father learned Dhuluo from his mother as that was the language she spoke. He learned Swahili growing up. Gikuyu, I have no idea where he learned that. And Kamba he learned through school. So, he speaks four languages fluently.  

His second life partner my mother Azelice speaks only one English.  

    - Action Step: Reflect on your roots or origins and consider how they influence your current life. Engage in activities or traditions that connect you with your background. 

My roots greatly influence my current life. My clan is everything to me. I listen to musick that inspires me sometimes in Kiswahili. I love musick sung in Dhuluo. I love the history. The language. The food. I wish I could live there. But I alas I cannot. But I will make my grandfather proud of me!  

All my love, 
Mama 

 

 

34 - Wach- Pointing - Friday, 28 February 2003

No. 34 
Wach- Pointing 
Friday, 28 February 2003 

Dear Amare-Amuri, 

12. "A man who has one finger pointing at another has three fingers pointing back at himself." 

    - Explanation: This proverb teaches about self-reflection and accountability. It suggests that when we criticize others, we should also consider our own faults.  

I consider my own faults of talking too much when it is not necessary and venting too much to the wrong people who do not have my best interests at heart.  

It highlights the tendency to overlook our own shortcomings while pointing out others' mistakes.  

My shortcomings are trying to be like my siblings and taking on others' problems. Which I cannot and must not do. As that is not healthy. Or beneficial for me. I am me. They are them. I cannot be them. They cannot be me. I am at peace with myself. 

The proverb encourages introspection and personal responsibility. 

I pray to God to cast out any impurities or rebellious spirit inside of me that is not of Him and create in me a clean heart. And help me to listen to my parents and my aunts in complete obedience and stamp out defiance and backtalking.  

 It serves as a reminder to be fair and self-aware in judgment. 

To be fair and self-aware that I am human, and I cannot judge anyone.  

    - Action Step: When criticizing someone, take a moment to reflect on your own similar behaviors or faults. Use this reflection to guide more constructive and empathetic feedback. 

I understand that I have my faults and behaviors that irritate people. But I am working to improve on them. I just wish others would be more understanding of it and not cast judgment because of my health issues and walk away casting me away as a lost cause. I am not a lost cause. I am a person of promise. I am a person with a future. I am a person of greatness with God. God said it. I believe it.  

All my love, 
Mama 

33 - Chodo- Values - Friday, 28 February 2003

No. 33 
Chodo- Values 
Friday, 28 February 2003 

Dear Amare-Amuri, 

11. "A person who values their life must value the lives of others." 

    - Explanation: This proverb suggests that respect and value for one's own life should extend to respecting others' lives. It promotes empathy and the recognition that our actions impact others.  

I value all lives. Valuing lives means living in harmony with everyone and not causing any harm to anyone.  

Valuing others' lives leads to a more harmonious and ethical society. It reinforces the idea that mutual respect and care are fundamental to a well-functioning community. 

Mutual respect comes from understanding the heart of the other person and them understanding your heart in openness, honesty, communication, trust, always. And keeping the lines of communication open. Even during difficult and testy times.  

 This principle encourages considerate and compassionate behavior towards others. 

Considerate. Compassionate. Kind. Loving. Peaceful behavior.  

    - Action Step: Identify ways you can show greater respect and care for others in your community.  

Write encouraging messages to uplift others. Write positive messages to comfort the weary or downtrodden in life. Sing and play musick whenever possible to restore health to souls spiritually. 

Make a conscious effort to engage in actions that demonstrate empathy. 

All my love, 
Mama 
 

32 - Nyalu- Insecure - Friday, 28 February 2003

No. 32 
Nyalu- Insecure 
Friday, 28 February 2003 

Dear Amare-Amuri, 

10. "A man who uses force is afraid of the shadows." 

    - Explanation: This proverb implies that those who resort to violence or coercion often do so because they are insecure or fearful.  

Be peaceful. Speak with love. Live with love. Never hit. Anyone.  

It highlights the idea that true strength comes from confidence and self-control, not from imposing power on others.  

Be confident in yourself. Without being physically aggressive towards others. Physical aggression does not work. 

Using force as a means of control is often a sign of weakness rather than strength.  

When others are aggressive towards me, I see them as being scared of themselves or intimidated that I am bigger than them. It does not change my viewpoint of them. But it does make me realize that they are small minded and have no power over me. I have no fear over them. Not a single jot.  

This also suggests that confronting fears can lead to more peaceful and effective solutions.  

Confronting the fears that the person has who is being physically aggressive towards me helps me understand why they feel the need to shout at me or get in my face. But I do not get defensive. I am calm. I am collected. I maintain my dignity. I let them get their anger out by walking away. This gets them even more upset. I do not pay that any mind. I keep walking. I come back later when they have calmed down and speak to them in a quiet tone without any malice or anger. And they apologize for their attitude or reaction.  

Understanding this can help one develop better conflict resolution skills. 

And then there is no conflict between us. And we can live in peace.  

    - Action Step: Reflect on a recent situation where force was used. Consider alternative methods of handling the situation that involve communication and understanding rather than intimidation. 

I rarely get physically aggressive with anyone. But I might break a cup or two in frustration. I remain calm when others are stressed or upset. I never show anger or frustration. It is not needed. Being a calming influence to the other person is enough to diffuse the situation.  

All my love, 
Mama