9 - Imẓiḍen- Steps - Friday, 28 February 2003

No. 9 
Imẓiḍen- Steps 
Friday, 28 February 2003  

 

Dear Amare-Amuri,  

 

Question- What steps do you take to align your behavior with both religious and social expectations? 

 

I honor my parents. I respect my parents. I am silent unless I have a need to speak. I am pretty much silent and rarely ever talk. I walk around without talking. Just doing things. It works out! People get used to it. And point out that I am either (1) invisible or (2) quiet. Either response does not bother me at all! The Bible says to guard my tongue and that death and life are in the power of the tongue so I just do not speak because I have nothing to say that someone would not try to tear down verbally with their caustic words or nonverbal tones and actions. So, I just sit on my hands, and I observe and do not say anything.  

 

So now people think I have nothing to say. I do. I just do not say it. Because no one ever listens to what I have to say. Why? They already have this notion that I am intellectually disabled so therefore I have no coherent thought in my head. So why should I bother to change their opinion? It is their loss anyways. Not mine. They are losing out on a wonderful relationship with me. I am pretty much friendless because no one wants to be friends with me who has a lot of health problems, and I am not worried about it at all. True friends will come in time. I just have to wait and see and take care of myself. And build a relationship that is unshakable and unbreakable with myself in the meantime. 

 

And I hope that people stop tearing me down.  

 
All my love, 
Mama