24 - Yath- Tree - Friday, 28 February 2003

No. 24 
Yath- Tree 
Friday, 28 February 2003 

Dear Amare-Amuri, 

2. "He who learns and does not apply is like a tree that bears no fruit." 

   - Explanation: This proverb emphasizes the importance of applying knowledge in practice.  

My father wants me to apply the knowledge of listening first before opening my mouth to speak and to not interrupt conversations with my thoughts. What he says is important and correct. But I find it difficult to bend to his will. It seems that I am influenced to easily by my siblings who speak out of turn and interrupt conversations a lot. But in the future I will learn how to not do this. I will have to if I want to have a peaceful and openly honest relationship with my father the head of my family, and the head of my clan. If I listen to him in this matter-no matter how difficult it may be-then I feel as if earning his love and respect would not be that far off. It just takes time, effort and patience. And wisdom to realise that I am not like my siblings. Even if people try to tell me that I am. I have to unlearn those behaviors that I have adopted from my siblings and retain my true nature and true behaviors. Even if it means ending relationships with family that are no longer beneficial to have with family due to their temperament or attitude towards me and my parents.  

Learning without application is futile and does not yield any benefits, much like a fruitless tree.  

 

The nursery rhyme The Wise Old Owl will greatly help me here. It goes like this:  

The "Wise Old Owl" is a popular nursery rhyme that goes as follows: 

A wise old owl lived in an oak, 
The more he saw, the less he spoke; 
The less he spoke, the more he heard: 
Why aren't we all like that wise old bird? 

This rhyme is often used to teach children the value of listening and observing rather than talking too much. 

The nursery rhyme "A Wise Old Owl" offers timeless wisdom encapsulated in its simple verses: 

A wise old owl lived in an oak, 
The more he saw, the less he spoke; 
The less he spoke, the more he heard: 
Why aren't we all like that wise old bird? 

This rhyme emphasizes the importance of listening and observing rather than speaking impulsively. Its underlying message holds valuable lessons that can be applied in various aspects of daily life, promoting personal growth, effective communication, and enhanced relationships. Here's an exploration of how these principles can be beneficial and practical ways to incorporate them into our routines: 

  

Benefits of Listening and Observing 

  

1. Improved Understanding 

By listening more and speaking less, you gain a deeper understanding of others. This principle can enhance empathy and compassion. For instance, in a professional setting, actively listening to colleagues and clients can lead to better insights into their needs and concerns, fostering stronger collaborations and trust. 

  

2. Enhanced Relationships 

Effective communication is foundational to healthy relationships. Listening attentively shows respect and appreciation for others’ viewpoints. For example, in personal relationships, giving full attention to a partner during conversations can resolve conflicts more effectively and strengthen the bond. 

  

3. Better Decision-Making 

Observing and gathering information before speaking allows for more informed decisions. This is particularly useful in leadership roles. A manager who listens to team feedback and observes work patterns can make decisions that are beneficial to the entire team, leading to improved morale and productivity. 

  

4. Personal Growth 

Silence and observation encourage introspection. By reflecting on what you hear and see, you can gain insights into your behavior and attitudes. This self-awareness is crucial for personal development and achieving long-term goals. 

  

Practical Applications in Daily Life 

  

1. Active Listening Techniques 

Active listening involves fully concentrating, understanding, responding, and remembering what is being said. Here are a few techniques: 

- Maintain Eye Contact: Shows the speaker that you are engaged. 

- Nod and Use Affirmations: Simple gestures and words like “I see” or “Interesting” can encourage the speaker. 

- Paraphrase and Summarize: Restating what the speaker has said confirms your understanding and shows you are listening. 

  

For example, in a meeting, instead of formulating your response while someone else is talking, focus entirely on their words and body language. After they finish, you might say, “So what you’re suggesting is…” to clarify and confirm your understanding. 

  

2. Mindfulness Practices 

Mindfulness involves being fully present in the moment, which enhances your ability to observe without immediate judgment. Practices like meditation can train your mind to be more attentive and less reactive. Start with just a few minutes of mindfulness meditation each day, gradually increasing the duration. 

  

For instance, during a conversation, practice mindfulness by noticing your urge to interrupt or respond quickly and instead refocus on the speaker’s words and emotions. 

  

3. Reducing Distractions 

In the age of smartphones and constant connectivity, distractions can hinder effective listening and observation. Create environments that minimize these distractions. During important conversations, put away your phone or turn off notifications. This helps you stay present and engaged. 

  

For example, during family dinners, establish a no-phone policy to encourage meaningful conversations and strengthen family bonds. 

  

4. Reflective Practices 

Set aside time each day for reflection. This could be through journaling or simply contemplating the day’s events and interactions. Reflect on what you observed and how you responded. Consider what you learned from listening and how it influenced your understanding. 

  

For instance, after a workday, spend a few minutes reflecting on key interactions. Ask yourself what you learned from listening to your colleagues and how you can apply this knowledge moving forward. 

  

5. Applying the 80/20 Rule 

Aim to listen 80% of the time and speak 20% of the time during conversations. This approach ensures you are gathering more information than you are dispensing, allowing for better comprehension and responses. 

  

In a group discussion, this might mean asking open-ended questions and allowing others to share their perspectives before offering your own. 

  

Conclusion 

  

The wisdom of the "Wise Old Owl" rhyme lies in its advocacy for attentive listening and keen observation. By integrating these practices into daily life, individuals can improve their understanding, relationships, decision-making abilities, and personal growth. Through active listening techniques, mindfulness, reducing distractions, reflective practices, and applying the 80/20 rule, one can harness the benefits of being a “wise old bird” and lead a more thoughtful, empathetic, and successful life. 

 

Knowledge must be used to effect change and achieve results. 

Effect change by listening and doing what is needed in my daily tasks of life and having the faith to do so. And achieve whilst others are leaving. 

 

It serves as a reminder that the value of learning is realized through action and practical use.  

Learn and grow from different conversations and always learn something new every day. No matter what. Teach yourself something new. Whether it is a new word. Or a new business trait. Or habit. Never stop learning. Never stop growing. Never stop thriving.  

To make learning meaningful, it must be translated into practice. 

Learning is meaning when it is translated into practice. The way I will do this is to be invisible and go about my daily life. Only speaking if it is necessary or important. Or if someone asks me a question. And to stop sharing my opinions and thoughts all the time. Because no one cares.  

   - Action Step: Identify one piece of new knowledge or skill you've acquired recently.  

One piece of new knowledge that I have acquired recently is that my second brother still appreciates me even though he went his own way in life. I never knew that he appreciated me at all. But it makes me feel joyous inside that he cherishes our bond with each other no matter what. I appreciate him too! And not family related- To break my goals down into a five-year plan.  

Create a plan to apply it practically in your daily life or work. 

 The way I will break my goals down into a five-year plan is to list the goals that I am hoping to achieve and then break it down month by month, then week by week, then day by day. And focus only on that. And not on the goals or plans of others around me. It is not my business.  

All my love, 
Mama