25 - Gima- Lack - Friday, 28 February 2003

No. 25 
Gima- Lack 
Friday, 28 February 2003 

Dear Amare-Amuri, 

3. "A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth." 

   - Explanation: This proverb speaks to the consequences of neglect and lack of community support for individuals.  

I felt very supported by my community of family members connected around the world throughout my life. They have inspired me to do better and to be better and to live better. To live a life of purpose and joy and peace. To make something of myself. And to do something great.  

It suggests that when people, especially children, do not receive the care and attention they need, they may act out destructively to seek attention or warmth.  

I see this with my younger biological siblings and some older siblings how they behave and conduct themselves to get a little love and attention. It really is abysmal how they go about seeking a little love and attention. Instead of living with themselves, and being content with themselves and their attitude they try to stretch themselves and seek love from people and from others who probably are too stressed and burnt out in their own lives to give it to them.  

I have noticed that those who look for love in relationships outside their natal families really need a lot of counseling and they also need to work on their inner heart and their emotions. Towards themselves first. And then towards others. Once they do that then they can have a healthy relationship.  

But I do not see my biological siblings being happy in any relationship because they absolutely refuse to do the work on their hearts inside and then work on the way they act and react towards others on the outside. This is just my observation. I do not want my siblings to suffer in a bad relationship or isolate themselves in a relationship. But if it happens that way then I can do nothing but pray for them. And not say anything. I did all I could to help them. They made their decisions. They must live with it.  

It highlights the importance of nurturing and inclusive community support.  

I seek the community support of my parents and older relatives before making any decisions that could change my life in any way. What do I eat? When do I sleep? Things like that. Of course things may change and other issues may arise that are more bigger than this but giving those two examples I am learning to listen to the wisdom of my elder relatives and my parents because listening to my own generation certainly will lead me nowhere. Maybe that will change in the future in a positive way! But I am relying on God to carry me through as I listen to my elders.  

Proper guidance and support prevent harmful actions driven by neglect.  

My parents guide me in almost everything that I do so I do not do anything that is against what they have taught me. I am obedient to their edicts and their words. They never forget to tell me that they love and appreciate me and the value I bring to their lives just by being me. I do not talk much. But I observe and listen. And to them that is an asset. I know how to blend in the background and make myself insignificant and invisible when required and they appreciate that. A lot. They know I won’t repeat what I hear. 

This is a call to be attentive and supportive to those around us. 

I am attentive and supportive to my mentors and to my family around me. Some see it as usury. But I see it as soaking up a learning experience from the other person.  

   - Action Step: Reach out to someone who might be feeling neglected or unsupported.  

I reach out to my family members and support them when and where needed. I do not say much. But I just sit and listen.  

Offer your help or a listening ear to show that you care. 

I offer my help to people by sitting down and listening to them and letting them talk the issue out until they find an answer to their problems. This helps them lessen their suffering and they feel a lot better. All I did was listen to them and gave them the ability to open up their hearts in a space that was nonjudgmental and freedom to express themselves without shame or criticism. I do not know if others will appreciate that in the future, but I will keep having a listening ear and let people open their hearts to me and see how it goes!  

All my love, 
Mama