26 - Kaka- Roots - Friday, 28 February 2003

No. 26 
Kaka- Roots 
Friday, 28 February 2003 

Dear Amare-Amuri, 

4. "When the roots of a tree begin to decay, it spreads death to the branches." 

   - Explanation: This proverb illustrates that underlying problems often lead to more significant issues.  

My family does not know how to communicate with honesty, openness and trust. The immediate one that is. I do not know about extended family members. Instead of opening their hearts and souls to one another they all sit and hide issues until they fester and become too large to ignore. I won’t give examples as that is private, but I am not happy with the way the situation turned out with my second elder brother. At all. It could have ended differently.  

Just as a tree's decaying roots affect its branches, foundational issues in a person or organization can lead to widespread problems. 

My problem with my family members-extended included-is that no one wants to talk about their parents at all. As if it is a shame that their parents had other children or whatnot. I just do not understand the shame that my extended family feels over my elder aunt being the daughter of a woman from another nation and my biological maternal grandfather. Yet no one says a word about my grandmother. I never knew either of them. But it is sad to see the family ripped apart silently over issues that could be discussed openly with trust, love, and kindness. And not bitterness, shame, or reproach.  

 It underscores the importance of addressing root causes rather than just symptoms.  

I value openness. I value honesty. I value trust. At all times. I do not think my family does at all. Except my two aunts. And perhaps my parents. Sometimes I slip and fall back into the bad habits learned from my siblings, but my credo keeps me going and keeps me strong when it seems I cannot trust anyone around me except myself and my aunts and my mother and my father.  

I address root causes as I see them. People do not like that at all. They tell me to shut up. To sit down and be quiet. I refuse. I say my piece. Even when people are trying to cut me off and tell me that I am stupid or have intellectual disabilities or whatnot. I know I am brilliant. But I just have to let these small, minded people see that if they let the issue fester and grow they will have a bigger issue to handle later on. So that is why I speak up when I see an issue starting to cause problems. Whether in the church. Or at home. I get a lot of pushbacks at home and at church when I speak up because a lot of people think I am stupid and have nothing to say. So, I just roll along with their stupidity label and achieve great things without them realizing.  

Proper care and maintenance are necessary to prevent decay and deterioration.  

Proper care of your body. Proper care of your mind. Proper care of your spirit. Proper care of your eyes. Proper care of your soul. Do not corrupt any.  

By solving foundational issues, overall health and stability can be maintained. 

By solving the foundational issues, overall health and stability can be maintained in my heart and body by living a good life that is honest and upright, and obeying my parents in all things no matter what. Even if my spirit wants to rebel. To stamp out the rebellion and obey. Because the Bible says Children obey your parents in the Lord for this is the first commandment with a promise. And I intend to keep that promise. No matter if my siblings do not. 

I must set the standard. I must raise the bar. I must be a difference maker. I must obey my parents in all things. Because I will then receive my reward when Jesus comes to Earth.  

   - Action Step: Assess an area of your life or work where you might be addressing only surface-level issues.  

An area of my life where I might be addressing only surface-level issues is my communication methods with my first sister Sanzira. I greatly appreciate her cooking skills. But her attitude and the words that come out of her mouth and something else that it pushes me away from her. It pains me deeply to write this but she needs therapy badly and she refuses to get it. I communicate in love towards her. She communicates hurtful words. I get upset. She gets even more angry and nasty. Then turns around and blames me for making her mad. Then she does the same thing to other family members until no one talks to her. She needs a savior. And I certainly won’t be it. She is not unstable. Not by a long shot. She just needs someone patient enough to understand her unique capabilities and personality and condition and I cannot do that or be that for her. It is too much.  

It is not my cross to bear.  

Investigate and address the root causes to achieve better results. 

She needs therapy because I can see that she is troubled on the inside of her heart and that no one understands her. Instead of communicating with love towards others she communicates with anger, frustration, rage, jealousy, foul language, and bitterness. That has made her lose friends, lose partners, and lose key relationships that could have made her a success. No one can help her but God at this point. My mother and my biological father are trying to help her. But we will see how long that lasts before she turns on them with her negative behavior like she did on her siblings. 

All my love, 
Mama